My Life...

It's a boy!

Ok, I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything. The suspense has been unbearable for some and this 12 month pregnancy has been extremely difficult for Vanessa. But Cooper is finally here, weighing over 13 pounds. He's already smiling. Pretty soon he'll be walking, talking, and wiping his own rear end.

Seriously, I love being a daddy. The day Cooper was born, I suddenly felt mature (however, that feeling has subsided quite a bit). He's perfect and I'm starting to wish there were two of him!

That's enough for now. I, Clay Bryant, vow to update my blog on a regular basis, admitting full guilt for my recent slackerness.

ctb

Almost time...

For those of you who don't know, this is my nephew, AJ. He and my brother and my sister-in-law live in Killeen, TX and we don't get to see them very often. I'm dying to see him again soon - he's growing up so fast! My sister-in-law, Annika posted this picture tonight on her Flickr page. Vanessa and I thought it was really cool. Vanessa tried to post it on her blog, but was having computer issues, so here it is...on mine.

Anyhow, we will leave at 5:45 tomorrow morning to head to the hospital. Our baby boy should arrive in our lives within the next 10 hours or so. We're pretty sure we've got everything ready to go...we hope so at least. But, surprise surprise, Clay is wide awake and doesn't appear to be snoozing anytime soon. Keep us in your prayers. Hopefully, I'll be able to post soon with pictures of our new gift from God.

ctb

Top Ten...

Since I haven't posted anything in a few days, and because I'm bored, I thought I'd share one of my favorite things with you...the Late Show Top Ten list. This one's good, and it's pretty appropriate for a lot of us guys.

Top Ten Signs You Are Watching Too Much Football

10. Only fresh air you've had this month is opening the door for the pizza guy.

9. You refer to orange juice as Fedex orange juice.

8. When your wife finishes making dinner, you dump a jug of Gatorade on her.

7. You schedule an appointment to talk to your doctor about Andy Reid's cholesterol.

6. Got a telestrator in the bedroom.

5. Three words: Norve Turner tattoo

4. You fantasize about Gisele Bundchen falling in love with you and introducing you to Tom Brady.

3. When you go to McDonald's you insist on ordering the McNabb

2. Laura has to keep reminding you that you're still President for two more weeks.

1. To be more like your favorite New York Giant, you shoot yourself in the leg.

Ha!

ctb

AJ...

Vanessa & I recently purchased a digital video camcorder. Since then, I've been playing around with the software it came with. I just found a new deal I hadn't seen before and started toying around. I used pictures of my nephew, AJ, progressing from his birth to now. Here's what I figured out in the first 15 minutes or so.

ctb

Bummer...

Well...wow. I guess I have to say it was a pretty good game. I'm sure some people will cry that we gave them the win because of two redzone turnovers, but every losing team can say that about every game. You make more mistakes, you lose...you make less mistakes you win. OU played well the first half, but that's about it. I'm not looking forward to all the talk about Chokelahoma and Bob Stoops sucking in big bowl games. All I can say is, OU's been to 4 national championships in 9 years. Can any other team say that? Didn't think so.

One gripe I have...if I hear one more "Tim Tebow is Jesus" type comment I'm going to hold a gun in my hand and shoot off all 10 of my toes one at a time. Someone who flaunts their spirituality to the world probably shouldn't be getting taunting penalties on a national platform. And Tebow winning the offensive MVP award is a joke. Percy Harvin dominated that game. Anyone who watched that game who knows football realizes that he was the true MVP.

Not much else to say. I'm glad OU made it to the national championship. Sure, would've liked for them to have won, but you've got to give props to the Gators. Other than that, I hope to see USC, Utah, and Texas play a round robin "Whiners Bowl Playoff" sometime in the next couple of weeks.

ctb

It's game time!

This is me...

This is Vanessa...

I'm afraid the game is going to stress Vanessa out and cause her to go into labor...then I won't get to watch the game. Don't forget...reply to my post and tell me what date you think Cooper will arrive. I'm keeping a calendar.

BOOMER SOONER!

ctb

You name the date...

Ok, the first childbirth class wasn't that bad, although it was an extremely boring 3 hours as I had expected. Vanessa told me that my last post made it seem like she was forcing me to go...that was definitely not the case. Everyone knows she wears the pants, but that's not why I went. I may joke around about having to go, but it is worth attending because I know it is for the health and safety of my wife and baby.

Now, it's time to see when everyone thinks Cooper will be born. Just comment on this post with the date that you think he'll arrive. I'm starting a calendar. Since we're poor, here's the reward for guessing the birthdate correctly - the person who guesses the correct date will get to change one diaper. If 2 people guess the correct date, each will get to change 1/2 of a diaper. If 3 people guess the correct date, each will get to change 1/3 of a diaper. Don't worry, I'll make sure it's #2 to make it worth your while!

Just so you have the most up to date information. The official due date is February 1st. Officially, Vanessa is 36 weeks and 2 days along. However, she is already 90% effaced and dialated to a 1 (if you don't know what those things mean...don't ask!), and the baby has definitely dropped. However, none of these things mean that she is in labor yet...it could be a few days or a few weeks - who knows?

I can't wait to see what everyone thinks. Good luck guessing!

ctb

Hee hee whoo...

Tonight my man-card loses a big chunk of man-points. Although I have been a bit aprehensive, Vanessa and I will be attending Labor & Delivery Classes every Monday night until our son is born. I don't know what we'll be doing during these 3 hours each week, but I'm about to find out. I'm not looking forward to spending my evening with grumpy pregnant women...if only they were all like my wife - easy pregnancy, no mood swings, etc. For all you boys who get to watch the Fiesta Bowl tonight, consider yourself lucky. I guess I'll let you know how it goes.

ctb

How bout them Cowboys...

Just watched my Dallas Cowboys get whooped 44-6 to end the season. It's a great disappointment. Carl Albert lost in the state championship, I lost in my Fantasy Football championship, Dallas didn't even make the playoffs...now I'm just hoping OU doesn't choke in the BCS National Championship in a couple weeks. I'm starting to get a bad rep here...

ctb

What is it?

Bored out of my mind with the DVR empty, I just finished watching a show called NFL's Greatest Games. It featured Super Bowl XXXII between the Green Bay Packers and Denver Broncos. I know it's crazy, but my heart was pounding the last 15 minutes as they showed the 4th quarter play out. It was like 10 years ago, and I still got chills when the Broncos owner handed over the trophy and said, "There's only four words...THIS ONE'S FOR JOHN!" (In case you don't know, he was referring to John Elway.)

So that got me thinking...what is it about sports that does that to us? What is it about grown men playing a game that makes us shake, yell and holler at the top of our lungs, argue and fight, and give up so much money and time?

Well, here's my answer...I HAVE NO IDEA, but I love it. Football, Basketball, Baseball...it doesn't matter, I can get into it.

Which brings me to my next point...I'm scared to death about the BCS National Championship game. I hope "Big Game" Bob shows up with the "Stoops Troops" and not the "Chokelahoma Drunken Stupors" that have showed up in recent bowl games. One thing I know for sure...I'll be shaking and yelling, and, hopefully, experiencing chills when we pull off the upset.

ctb

Puff, puff, give?

I just found out that Barack Obama smokes (cigarettes). Wow! Nuts! What role model for America.

ctb

Please pray...

I'm requesting prayers for two of my friends. Each of them work very hard week in and week out, doing the best they can to show pride in what they represent. Boomer and Sooner are the mascots for the Oklahoma Sooners. They are beautiful horses, which pull the Sooner Schooner out of the tunnel and onto the field after each Oklahoma score. As many of you know, the OU football program has set many scoring records this year, leading to great fatigue and wear & tear on these young and promising beings. Please pray that the next month will be full of rest and recovery for Boomer and Sooner as we hope there will be many more Schooner-pulling opportunities come January 8th.

Thank you, God bless, and Boomer Sooner.

ctb

Chubby Chase...

One of the things I thoroughly enjoy in this life is watching Chubby Chase Daniel play poorly, get hit hard, turn the ball over, cry like a baby, and walk to the sideline defeated. Haha! Boomer Sooner!

ctb

Texas sucks...

First of all, let me say, I've heard enough about the Big 12 South and the BCS. The University of Texas, Mack Brown, and all of their fans seemingly have no vocabulary other than "we beat them." This just proves how stupid they are. OU lost to Texas...Texas lost to Texas Tech...Texas Tech lost to OU. Alright, think about it. It is a three-way tie because IT CAN'T BE FIGURED OUT WITH HEAD TO FREAKIN HEAD. That's the whole reason there's a tie-breaker! Idiots! They say that Texas should be ahead of OU because they beat OU. Well, then Tech should be ahead of Texas because they beat Texas. Sounds pretty stupid, doesn't it? So shut up! Have you forgotten that you were beaten by Texas Tech?!?! By the way, that's the same team we beat by over 40 points. Texas beat OSU by 4 points, I think, at home...we beat them by 20 on the road (their first home lost all year). Like I said, if you could decide it by using head to head, it would've never gone to a tie-breaker.

The other thing Texas likes to cry about is that they only lost to Tech because they dropped an interception on the last drive and they only got beat on the last play. If I'm not mistaken, any team can say that about any close game (point out one play that changed the game). Also, if I'm not mistaken, they didn't lose on one play. I'm pretty sure that Texas only led for about a minute and a half total in that game. And Texas Tech drove over 60 yards in under a minute to win it, immediately after Texas had taken their first lead. I'm pretty sure you have no right to claim that you're a "championship" team if you allow someone else to drive down the field like that in less than a minute AND score a touchdown. Dropped interceptions, defense, tackling, those are the things that determine how good a team you are. They aren't excuses you can use to say that "you shouldn't have lost the game."

It's obvious that ESPN and a few other media outlets have an agenda. Okay, I get it, everyone is afraid to put the Sooners in a big game because they've choked a couple of times. However, you shouldn't fry Oklahoma because the BCS is screwed up and you might not like the Big 12's tie-breaker rules. No one from Texas was complaining about the tie-breaker rules until they were on the short end of it. They sound like a bunch of babies arguing over a toy. Texas' athletic director was interviewed and quoted talking about how bad the tie-breaker rules are for the Big 12...he was on the committee that helped form the rules!!! And all the politicking!?!? Mack Brown comes on the ABC broadcast for the OU/OSU game and cries for 5 minutes. It proves what type of person Mack Brown is, but it's more ridiculous that ESPN encourages it. I've lost all respect for many people that I used to enjoy listening to. Stoops was asked to do the same thing during the Texas/Texas A&M game and he refused because he said that's not right. I'm sure glad Stoops is with OU - that's class.

If you really think that Texas got screwed, it's nothing new. The same writers and talking ESPN idiots cried like this last year for Georgia, in 2006 for Michigan, in 2004 for Auburn, and so on, and so on. Yes, the BCS sucks, but it can't be changed! It's done! Let the teams play it out on the field and shut up.

ctb

Economic crisis...

I wanted to fill you in on some information I heard today...
To avoid bankruptcy, it seems that a lot of companies are going to be merging. Here are some of the mergers that are already said to be taking place:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Co. may be merging to become "Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace."


2. PolyGram Records, Warner Bros., and Nabisco Crackers may join forces to become "Poly, Warner, Cracker."


3. Zippo, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will be merging to form "ZipAudiDoDa."


4. Knott's Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women (NOW) appear to be merging to "Knott NOW."


5. Fed Ex may merge with it's biggest competitor, UPS, to become "FedUP."

Ok, just a little corny humor. I'm sure you're all thinking one of two things. Either, "Hahahahahaha..." or, "Clay, you're an idiot."

ctb

Funny story...

A politician died and was met by St. Peter. Peter said, "I was told to offer you something you are very familiar with. You will be allowed to vote for where you will spend eternity - heaven or hell. You will spend a day in each place and then cast your vote." The politician took the elevator down and arrived in hell. As the doors opened, Satan met him with a warm handshake. Many politicians who had gone before him were there and greeted him. It was a place of incredible beauty and happiness. No one worked, yet everyone had an abundance. Everyone enjoyed whatever relationship they chose. Everyone lived by their own rules and were outrageously happy. It was everything he had worked toward all of his political life. At the end of the day, he hated having to leave. He took the elevator up and met St. Peter again. He said to Peter, "I would guess that in heaven I would have to live by God's rules - his 'thou shalts' and 'thou shalt nots.' Therefore, I've seen enough! I've made up my mind. I vote for hell." He entered the elevator again and pushed the down button. As the doors opened in hell, his eyes took in absolute devastation aand ruin. People were starving and fighting everywhere. Satan approached him with a broad smile. The politician asked, "What happened?" Satan responded, "Yesterday we were compaigning, today we have your vote."

Haha! Funny, huh? The weird thing is that I've always wanted to get involved in politics at some point in my life. Let me clarify...I want to be in politics - I don't want to be a politician.

ctb

Buryin, marryin, and bangin on the roof...

Thursday was a little crazy for me. I did a funeral at 10am here in Midwest City, then drove to Ft. Gibson for the graveside service at 2pm. Ft. Gibson is about a 2 hour drive. I have to say the Ft. Gibson National Cemetary is amazingly beautiful. It's set up much like the Arlington in Washington DC, only on a much smaller scale.

After the graveside service, I hurried home so I could grab a quick bite to eat and change into a different suit. I had a wedding at the state capitol at 7pm. By the time it was all said and done, I got home at about 9 and was exhausted. It was one of those days that, in ministry, doesn't happen very often. I'm sure they're aren't a whole lot of people who have done a funeral and wedding in the same day, but who knows. What can I say other than...that's why they pay me the big bucks. Actually, I was more than pleased just to have the opportunity to help a few families out.

We've also had some bangin on the roof the last couple of days. Wednesday afternoon I was startled when I was sitting in the living room...the house suddenly began shaking violently due to something hitting our roof. It was the roofing company delivering bundles and bundles and bundles of shingles and shingles and...ok, you get it. The roofers started on our roof Thursday afternoon and were finished by around 4 on Friday. Racism and stereotypes aside, those Mexicans REALLY are hard workers and very good at what they do. The roof looks pretty good.

And, we finished up Friday night by going to the Thunder game. I'm pretty sure the Carl Alber girls could beat them. It's pretty sad. Oh well, I don't think I need to say anything else. I'm sure I've said enough.

That's my world the last few days...

ctb

And so it begins...

Well, the holiday season has officially begun for Vanessa and I. We just returned from Clinton, OK, where we spent the evening with Vanessa's mom's side of the family. Since Vanessa's grandparents (on her mom's side) are divorced and both remarried, we always meet with her grandfather and his wife before Thanksgiving weekend to make sure that we get to see him and her grandmother for the holidays. (Christmas is much the same.)

Our remaining plans for Thanksgiving go something like this...Thanksgiving day we begin by having lunch with my family. We never really do anything with my dad's side, so we do lunch each year with my mom's side of the family. It's nothing unusual for us to have 30 or more together for lunch. Immediately after lunch, we'll drive to Hinton, OK to be with Vanessa's mom's side of the family at her grandmother's house. We'll spend the rest of Thanksgiving Day there with her family. Then I go hunting on Friday (whoo hoo!). Saturday we'll travel to Marlow, OK to have lunch with Vanessa's dad's side of the family. Hopefully, OU will beat Texas Tech next week, then they'll be playing OSU the Saturday after Thanksgiving in the evening, so we can leave Marlow and get home in time to watch Bedlam.

It's crazy how much travelling we do for the holidays, but it's worth it. It's not very often that either of us get to see all of our family. I know a lot of people have to rotate years, spending holidays with one side one year and the other side the next. While it does make for a lot of travel in a short amount of time, we really are fortunate that both of our families are close, so we get to spend time with both sides each holiday.

I'm sure many of you share in this busy-ness. I know one thing...we'll be worn out when it's all said and done. But, I'm sure this will help to make the holidays rush by, and, before we know it, we'll be holding our baby boy!

ctb

Where are you Barack?

I never thought I'd say anything like this, but this is really what I'm thinking. There is nothing on TV except football and basketball, and I don't like it. Now, I would normally be thrilled to have the option of watching football OR basketball, but not right now. No, I am enduring a great let-down. At this time about a week ago, I found myself being driven insane by the non-stop, on-going discussions about the presidential election - now...I'm lonely without it. If this was such a monumental and historical election, why aren't we hearing anything about it anymore? Will it return to front-page media when Obama is sworn in and actually takes over as president? Hmmm....

Anyway, I don't like hearing about nothing but politics, but I miss it. Ok, I know that makes no sense whatever so I'll shut up.

I'm now realizing that this was one of those blog posts consisting of the ramblings of my mind and nothing that is truly worth writing or reading...I'm sorry you wasted 30 seconds of your life reading it.

ctb